Pull up a stool to the bar of life

Amy Bonfiglio- Columnist

For years men and women have crowded the local pubs with the hope of going home with some stranger’s phone number after sharing a few cocktails. How is it, that a glass full of fermented grain can draw people closer? Are we all looking for that special someone or that perfect beverage? Well ladies and gentlemen the world IS our bar.
A bar holds no barriers against color, religion, or sexual orientation. Everyone there can make their own choices, they can choose who they want to talk to, how long they want to be there, and what they want to drink. It’s a place where people are supposed to come together and enjoy themselves.
Most bars offer an eclectic array of refreshments, each one representing every individual. Women are often seen as a little more complicated than men, therefore are portrayed as the mixed drinks. Men on the other hand are basically all the same with just a few differences, hence being symbolized by beer.
For instance a martini is like one of those women that walks around in a two piece suit, with her dark rimmed glasses, her cell phone permanently attached to her ear, and a snotty attitude. She’s straight to the point and comes in a classy getup, similarly to the drink. Yet, a guy that has a dark and mysterious personality with a strong muscular body is like a Guinness beer. They are tall, dark, and really nice to look at, but after a few of them you can’t handle anymore. Or say a Midori sour, this drink comes in a pretty color and is extremely sweet, just like those girls who are so adorable and nice it makes you want to puke. Finally there is the Corona. This beer is exotic, fun to be seen with, and sometimes served with a little a little slice of green. A guy that has a foreign mystique is usually a man that any girl would like to be seen with and some women like them with or without the green (money).
Yet, while mingling at the bar if you mix or have too many drinks you are going to see them again later, just like boys and girls. If a girl has to many men or a guy to many women they are going to end up getting sick or being punished. Girls love to talk, if a guy has a slew of women sooner or later they will get together and take revenge, just like that rumbling of booze in your stomach right before you head to the bathroom. Girls have to watch out because many are hoping for the “perfect” one and make themselves sick experimenting with others along the way.
So to all of you mixed concoctions or specialty beers don’t worry about being spilt on the floor and getting stepped all over because one day you will be someone’s drink of choice!