Children benefit from being put on a leash when out in public. I know this not as a mother, but as a formerly leashed child; living proof that leashing works.
The word ‘leashing’ sounds strange, even comical. It leads one to instantly think of dogs, which is why many people denounce the act, calling it oppressive. The method has led to debates online, the harassment of parents and both anti-leash and pro-leash Facebook groups.
Obviously, it’s not an actual leash with a collar we are talking about here. Children aren’t dogs, even if they are just as easily distracted. The leash I’m referring to, and the one parents use, is a soft leash backpack, sometimes called a harness. Parents mostly use them for toddlers, then retire the backpack once their kid’s desire to randomly bolt has lessened. They are super cute — and as I’ll soon prove — very convenient.
Many people would disagree. One article posted on the website Your Tango claimed a leash “meant that the kid’s mom was too sadistic to put him in a stroller.” The article suggested strollers as an alternative, stating, “most of the moms online who have tested or tried child leashes…apparently have never heard of a stroller or baby carrier.”
This just makes me giggle. Obviously, every mom has heard of a stroller. Maybe, just maybe, moms who leash their kids are tired of pushing strollers, or are going somewhere a stroller won’t fit. They may just want to encourage their children to walk on their own. Letting toddlers do so actually helps build their confidence and improve their coordination. With a leash, it’s freedom with minimal risk.
The anti-leash author said leashed children look like golden retrievers out to do their business. I suppose she thinks strollers make children look more normal.
I hate to break it to them, but in the 21st century, if you see someone walking with a stroller, there’s a good chance there’s a small shaking dog inside wearing a cute sweater, not a baby. Strollers won’t save you from the “Dog or kid?” questions.
And even if you can’t help but compare leashed kids to dogs, is that really so bad? People leash dogs to keep them safe and protect them from others, which to me sounds like a good idea for everyone.
Some moms use child leashes/harnesses because medical conditions, like arthritis, make it harder for them to run after pesky toddlers. Some are simply in postpartum recovery and don’t want to sprint with a newborn in their hands. Others have children with disabilities, such as those with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or intellectual disability (ID), who elope often.
“I don’t laugh at kids on leashes anymore. I feel bad for them,” the anti-leash writer wrote. “…especially the kids with the monkey backpacks. Someone’s convinced them that leashes are cool.”
Ouch. She got me there.
Two-year-old me had a bright pink monkey backpack, with the leash being the monkey’s tail. It was sparkly and I loved it. I was matching with my sister and brother, and I felt super cool. We are triplets, so we were like a little gang. In the eyes of some skeptics, I suppose that would have made my mother a dog walker, but really, she was just ahead of her time.
That is the extent of my memories about the monkey backpack — that it was pink, sparkly and made me feel like an adventurer.
I have no memories of being dehumanized or feeling like a dog. I do have two very distinct memories of getting lost pre-leash, however. One time, my mother was shopping at Kohl’s with me. She tried to innocently sift through some blouses, and I took off. I booked it full speed, reveling in the thrill of my escape.
She found me a few minutes later, under one of the clothes racks, bewildered at how I could get lost in a store that flows in a clear rectangular path.
The second time, I was holding my mom’s hand at a fair, bustling with people. Being an observant young toddler, I noticed a different woman who looked more like my mom than my mother herself. Naturally, I squirmed free of my fake mother’s grasp to go towards my obviously real mother, excited by my discovery.
I was shocked to discover this new woman was not my mom. Once again, I was lost because of my own devices, at no fault of my mother’s. Both times she found me, but I was scared for days after.
It scared my mother, too, who feared I might join the 33 children, on average, who are kidnapped by non-family members each day in the U.S.
I’m not the only kid who runs away. In fact, I’m not even the only one to run away at Kohl’s specifically. My running didn’t make my mom a bad mother, just like the implementation of a leash didn’t make her sadistic. It made her creative and responsible.
If using a leash works, keeps your kid safe and lets them feel adventurous, who is anyone to judge? Ignore the haters and use that leash.
Most importantly, don’t you dare feel guilty about it.
