The worst generation?

John Radzinski

Have you ever noticed that people aged 40-65 are a drain on society? Our parents are the worst generation by far. Let’s look at what they’ve contributed. A larger national debt, eating up all our social security money and they made Celine Dion a star.

The real reason why this older generation stinks? None of them know how to use an electronic item. Since the invention of the VCR in the 1980s, baby boomers have had no idea how to use anything electronic. I know this because my name is no longer John to my parents. It’s “Technical Support.”
Listen geezers: don’t give me that garbage: “We didn’t grow up with this technology.” We both know that’s “old-person lingo” for “we’re too lazy and stubborn to learn.” For heaven’s sake learn the terminology.

Stop calling CDs records. Don’t call your instant message account your “site.” And stop getting confused when I say disc; I’m not talking about the 3.5 by 5 inch disks. Those are extinct. Stop calling the mainframe or hard drive of a computer the “brain.” And “monitors” are not a synonym for “computers.” I mean you would have thought this was a new technology, but we had our first home computer 12 years ago when I was a sixth grader.

What bothers me about all this is that I never get a phone call about how I’m doing from my parents. It’s always about why they can’t get their cell phone to play its Phil Collins ring tone. I don’t get it. My stepdad is the vice president of marketing at the Orient Express, and my mom ran a successful business for over 20 years while raising two kids. Throw a DVD player in front of them and they freeze up like Walt Disney or Ted Williams.

Do I look like a customer service representative? Should Microsoft and Dell outsource their customer assistance calls to me?

This is the truth. My mom called me the other day and asked where the best place to buy a digital camera is. To which I replied Circuit City or Best Buy, as if I knew of a secret place that sold digital cameras for free or something.

As teenagers and 20-somethings, it’s not our responsibility to tell our parents how to use these things. We learn by doing and trying, and they need to do the same. Next time you’re asked how to work something, tell your parents to go figure it out for themselves. Then tell them two words: instruction manual.