“Are you guys dating?” No. Ask me that again and see where it gets you.

It’s a common question that people ask when they see my guy friends and me. Never would I date any of them. I wouldn’t even think about it. 

I get it, to a certain extent. Oftentimes, if you see a boy and a girl getting along, laughing and hanging out, your mind might first wander there. 

The problem is, most of my friends are guys. And before you say anything, no, I’m not a “pick me” girl. I would love to have more girl friends. But I also don’t believe in seeking out relationships, whether romantic or platonic, because the real ones naturally come to you. 

So, because most of my friends are guys, every time I bring up a new name around someone, it’s “ooooo, who’s (guy friend’s name)?” with a smirk. 

Please, if you know me, you should automatically assume that any guy I bring up is just a friend. Unless I explicitly say otherwise, that’s what he is.

It makes me very uncomfortable, and honestly feels very incestual, when someone ships me with my guy friends. They’re like my brothers. 

Here is where I might lose some people, but hear me out: Girls in relationships can have close guy friends, and boys in relationships can have close girl friends.

If you’re my ex reading this, thinking I’m switching up for saying this, the problem with you wasn’t that you had girl friends; it was that you were trying to get with them while you had a girlfriend. Hope this clears that up. 

My boyfriend can have as many girl friends as he wants. It would never be a problem, so long as a problem doesn’t arise.

If you can’t trust your significant other, that’s a problem in itself. Trust should be granted until it’s broken. 

It’s hard enough being the girl shipped with her single guy friends. It gets harder when they have girlfriends. 

Pause. This sounds messy. It’s not. 

Every time my guy friend gets a girlfriend, I want so badly to be her friend. As I said, not that I’m lacking in the friend department whatsoever, I just don’t have as many girl friends, and it sucks sometimes.

When my guy friend gets a girlfriend, it’s like I have the chance to get another one. 

The problem is, there’s a negative stigma around male and female friendship. So sometimes, the girlfriend is already coming in with negative assumptions about me. It sucks. 

Multiple of my guy friends’ exes didn’t like me right off the bat. I know what you’re thinking, “Well, maybe that’s a sign.” I thought so too, trust. 

Yet, in the midst of my deep reflection, one of them, who had grown to like me, had expressed to me that she came into the relationship not liking me, because I was the “girl best friend,” but once she got to know me, she did. 

My guy friends have been there for me through so much. I don’t know how I’d survive without them. Big shoutout to RJ, who’s been there for eight years, through awkward phases (which he’d probably say I’m still going through, honestly) and the ups and downs.

I’d never say that B.S. about guys being less drama. Actually, my guy friends are much more dramatic. It’s a blast. 

Having a friend of the opposite gender is so helpful; there are certain perspectives that you have access to, and advice they can give you. 

Honestly, I think every girl needs a guy friend, and every guy needs a girl friend. It doesn’t have to get weird.