Something I recently realized about myself is that I’m very prone to making split second decisions. 

It’s how I decided to move across the ocean to a new country by myself. It’s how I decided to pursue an English degree instead of Psychology. It’s how I decided to add Journalism as my second major. And it’s how I decided to start writing for this newspaper. 

For the life of me I can’t remember who I talked to at The Chronicle table at the engagement fair in my first-year — it was like three and a half years ago, to be fair and I ran away right after. Whoever it was though, that made me put my name down on the sign-up list has probably done me one of the biggest favors in my life. 

I still remember the first meeting I went to, though. Hiding in the back in the Sports section behind a group of guys with the only other women there at that time — former Q30TV President Brianna Trachtenberg and former QBSN Chairwoman Brittney Bronleben, who later turned into my roommates — I felt invisible. If then-Associate Sports Editor and former Managing Editor Ben Yeargin didn’t come over to talk to us I might not have ever come back. 

Even though I did, that invisible feeling didn’t go away for a while. 

I kept coming back because I enjoyed writing. I wrote my recaps, left the meeting right after signing up for games and barely talked to anyone. I tried to take up as little space as possible, I wasn’t confident in my writing and a little ashamed of my accent — which I didn’t realize I had until I moved here. 

Applying for associate sports editor at the end of my freshman year was yet another split second decision. 

Former Editor-in-Chief Katie Langley refuses to admit that I absolutely bombed my first interview with her — it literally took like five minutes cause I had nothing to say, while my second one took like half an hour, you can’t convince me I’m wrong Katie — and I rightfully didn’t get the position I applied for. She still decided to take a chance on me and bring me on as a copy editor, which was the best decision she could’ve made for me. 

How else would former News Editor Cat Murphy been able to kidnap me into news? 

Working alongside Cat is what taught me most that I know about being a reporter and showed me what a dedicated journalist looks like. I don’t think I would be where I am if it wasn’t for her guidance and I am so grateful to her for that. 

Despite all the chaos, being part of that editorial board that earned the title of 2024 NENPA College Newspaper of the Year is something I’ll always look back at fondly. 

Making the jump from copy to news editor was a little daunting, but not as daunting as being named editor-in-chief heading into my junior year. 

I didn’t come into this with the ambition of ever being one. It never even crossed my mind, until most of the e-board my sophomore year was graduating and they started planting those thoughts in my head. 

Katie, Ben, former Digital Managing Editor Jack Muscatello and former Creative Director Peyton McKenzie clearly saw something in me that I didn’t at that time. 

My first deadline in this role Sept. 3, 2024 ended in a panic attack in the women’s bathroom. I wish I could say that was the only time.

I was in over my head. I was desperately trying to live up to some expectations I had set for myself without really taking reality into consideration. I was trying to mimic the work of those who came before me, not understanding that’s not how this works. It took me a while to reset that mentality. 

It took countless conversations with Ben and Peyton whenever I saw them and begged for advice. It took a lot of sleepless nights and working myself to the bone, threatening to quit every other week — I give a lot of credit to my Managing Editors Colin Kennedy and Gina Lorusso for putting up with my dramatics and sticking by me. And it took me getting called out on my bullshit. 

I was pitying myself, fighting off that imposter syndrome every day because I felt like I didn’t deserve my position. I thought that the seat at the table that I was given was too big for me. 

What a load of bullcrap. 

I worked my way up fair and square. I learned fast and dedicated most of my life to this newspaper. For God’s sake, I was working in my third language in a country across the ocean from my home and clearly I was good enough at it to get this position. Once I realized all that, I stopped shrinking myself. 

I deserved to have that seat at the table. I learned how to trust my decisions and not second guess my every move. I learned how to accept criticism but also realize that this paper is in my hands and no one can dictate how I run it. I fought for Chron every time I could, including having people travel across the country covering various sports teams, from Connecticut to New York, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and California, including myself. 

This newspaper granted me opportunities that I didn’t even know were possible, and no sleepless days, anxiety, arguments or other issues can ever taint my memories of it.

I had the pleasure of spending four great years with this organization, meeting people who I will never forget. 

Because in the end that’s what it is about for me. The bylines are great, the experiences are unforgettable, but the people that sat in the media suite with me every Tuesday? That’s what made me fall in love with Chron as much as I did. 

Cat, Ben, Katie and Peyton who truly heard me complain probably more than anyone before but were always there for advice or to scold me. Former Opinion Editor Michael LaRocca who was my first friend in the organization. Brittney and Brianna, for whom I’m so grateful and will always cherish the fact that we all led our respective organizations in the same year. 

Former Sports Editor Cameron Levasseur, who has supported me more than anyone else ever had but also always called me out when I rightfully deserved it. I will forever admire the way you write. 

Editor-in-Chief Claire Frankland and Managing Editor Ava Highland, two girls that I couldn’t be more proud of. You both have grown immensely from where you first started and I have utmost confidence you will take The Chronicle to a new height. 

My managing board last year — Colin, former Marketing Director Emily Adorno and former Creative Director Tripp Menhall — that got on that sinking ship and helped me bring it back to life.

My managing board this year, Gina, Emily and former Creative Director Tyler Mignault, who I am so incredibly grateful for. You have made this year so incredibly fun and I love you all. I hope we never lose touch. 

To the seniors leaving with me — former Opinion Editor Lillian Curtin, former Copy Editor Amanda Dronzek, former Multimedia Production Editor Quinn O’Neill, former Social Media Editor Elisabeth McMahon, Emily and Gina — thank you for being on this rollercoaster with me and I wish you all only the best. 

To my parents who would probably never let me forget it if I left them out and who gave everything so I could come here, and my badass mom who taught me what it means to be a strong, confident, independent woman. 

And to everyone else, thank you. You guys have made my choice to come back for the second year so incredibly worth it and I am so excited to see you all grow from afar. I hope I was at least a little bit as unforgettable for you as you guys have been for me. 

Fifty-three news, seven opinions, 26 A&L and 88 sports articles later, I am officially signing off. Thank you The Quinnipiac Chronicle, for everything.