The secret diary of a bid girl

The QU Chronicle

Submitted by Anonymous

This semester I decided to rush a sorority.

I had previously never been interested whatsoever in Greek life, but I was looking for something different this semester, and I figured you can never have too many friends, plus community service always looks good on a résumé.

Going to the Greek kickoff, I didn’t really know what to expect.  I had never thought of myself as what can arguably be described as the stereotypical “sorority girl” that is portrayed in television and movies, although here at QU, I never got the impression they were really like that.  All the cheering and singing was a bit overwhelming.

The presidents of each fraternity and sorority made a speech to the crowd of existing members and interested newcomers, and I was surprised to hear how much being a part of something “bigger than themselves” really changed their lives.  I was perfectly content with my college experience thus far, but I began to wonder if I too should become a member of this life-changing program.

Two nights later the first round began, and I can honestly say I have never talked so much in my entire life.  I was very confused about the way a group of nearly 100 girls from four different sororities could make a decision about what type of person I am based on three different girls talking to me for five minutes.  How could they possibly know my character or my values from such a short interaction?  This completely baffled me.

Although everyone says to “go in with an open mind,” I already knew which sorority I wanted to be in if I got a bid.  Talking with women in the other three sororities, it made me take a step back and rethink what I wanted.  But in the end, I stuck with my gut instinct.  This raises an intriguing question:  Why is it that women interested in a sorority must rush all four, whereas men interested in a fraternity can choose which one they want to rush and only go to that fraternity’s events?  I’m sure there is a perfectly logical explanation for this, however, going through the process and coming out on the other side still wanting to rush my original choice is frankly a waste of time.  Perhaps the answer is that the higher-ups want to offer the women a variety of choices in order to make an informed decision, which is fair.  In that regard, it works well for those who don’t have a clue what they want.  I would’ve just liked the opportunity to choose only one sorority, the one I had originally wanted all along.

Another minor issue I had with the recruitment process was the fact that one of the sororities doesn’t accept juniors or seniors due to their program and how they want to develop their members (or something to that effect).  I suppose that is fair, but then why bother making the juniors and seniors meet with women from that sorority?  They shouldn’t have to get their hopes up for a sorority that was never going to consider them in the first place.

Going along with this point, the entire time I had the distinct feeling that being judged like this (and possibly rejected) reminded me of being a contestant in a popularity contest.  The fact that we all get judged by people, more specifically hundreds of people, who don’t even know us is rather unsettling.  Of course, once you know that you have received a bid, you feel like one of the cool kids.  Don’t take this the wrong way: I say this as someone who luckily did receive a bid and genuinely feel badly for those who really wanted it and didn’t get it.  I just wasn’t a fan of the process.

The line of women waiting to accept or reject their bid might be the worst part of this weekend.  Not only are you full of anticipation waiting to see if your first choice wanted you too, but the waiting was positively endless.  I have never been in a line so long.  There has to be a more efficient way to go about the process that would make it easier for those giving the bids, and those waiting to receive.

I ended up getting the bid from my second choice, and was very disappointed as a result.  But after taking some time to really think about it, I decided that for me the pros outweigh the cons and I am going to go through with it.  I’m glad I went through this experience, and I really hope that I am making the right decision.  At the very least I won’t have to look back and wonder “what if.”