Title Wave: Labeling Your Relationships

Jenn Press

Okay, so you ever lie in bed late at night and crave a snack? Just a little something to curb your craving and make you feel good? Well, this is true for late night rendezvous as well. A common situation one may find themselves in is relating to someone on a physical level only. Pleasure is all you can think about when you see this person because for whatever reason, they rub you the right way and you know you can’t get enough. You have a one track mind when it comes to the “what are you doing tonight” call because this person is designed for those lonely nights when you don’t want to go to bed alone. It’s an instant gratification guarantee where developing feelings past those of a physical nature may be hazardous to the relationship. You mutually use each other for pleasure and share an unwritten agreement that your relationship will not progress past the bedroom. In most cases, you don’t find yourself on dinner dates or public outings with one another, nor do you act romantic in any way. You generally don’t share mutual friends where you would find yourself spending a lot of time together, although this is always a possible for instance. Acknowledging each other’s presence in public is certainly acceptable, but the secret remains between you and the sheets.

A level past the “what are you doing tonight” call is more of a cuddle buddy because it involves interaction beyond the bedroom. In many cases you built a non-romantic friendship that makes you feel good at all times. You can spend time together, share stories, and chill in group settings where you may share mutual friends. The relationship is never really discussed because there is no reason to take it past the level you share at that point. The relationship generally begins as physical, and progresses to a close bond after spending more time together. In most cases you don’t ‘date’ this person, although casual meals and outings are likely. The one-on-one time is most likely only during intimate weekends or evenings, but you can carry on conversations if you see each other in line for the cafe. You steer clear of discussing your other crushes or hook-ups, if there are any. Although you aren’t fully committed to each other, it’s a step closer in that direction if you want it to be.

Then, friends with benefits. Like an old pair of sneakers, you know you can count on this person at all times. You’re there with each other through all ups, downs, ins and outs and never have to worry about feeling awkward. Again, there is no romance involved, but there’s such a strong mental and emotional connection that the physical just seems so right. The feelings of respect and appreciation for each other make the hook-up so comforting, and it usually comes at sporadic times. In this case, the physical comes after the friendship has been developed, and if it’s done right, it won’t feel wierd once the sex factor is involved. This is the kind of guarantee past a booty call that’s around at all times. These friends can be great contenders for rent-a-date, when looking for a good time to bring to a formal event, because you know what you’re getting. They’re a shoulder to cry on, a pillow to cuddle with and a friend to laugh at your jokes. You and your buddy will be in each other’s lives for a long time, and are there for support with each other’s various relationship adventures. You don’t get jealous and can easily talk about situations knowing you aren’t bound to each other for physical intimacy.

When things get a bit more serious, you can pretty much consider it dating. This term is similar to being ‘together’, but with less commitment involved. You may or may not be seeing other people, but in most cases you’re still keeping your options open. This is a go with the flow situation for the pair to have formal and informal dates and build a relationship. It’s a friendship with romance where the main focus is on courtship and the possibility of being only with one another. While there is certainly physical involved, that’s not the general concentration. In many cases when very interested in each other, the physical can be slower with hopes of leaving something to look forward to. This shows a higher level of respect and desire to get to know what the person is about, as they are a possible candidate for your next boyfriend/girlfriend.

Lastly, before you make each other your one and only option, you can be considered ‘together’. This is one step closure to the full commitment and is basically “going out'” without the official boyfriend/girlfriend title. In most cases you’re not hooking up with anyone but each other and you spend majority of your time bonding or talking. You share food, secrets and kisses, and feel a constant sense of butterflies. They are on your mind all the time and you feel as though you want to take things to the next level. Something just clicks and it seems so right. You certainly develop an attachment to the person, and there is constant flirting, sexual tension and positive vibes that radiate when you’re together.

Whatever your situation, a label may help provide answers. From now on, unless you’re intimate you won’t be in the dark!