Once again, social media has me feeling maternal over an animal that I will never meet or see.
Punch-kun, aka Punch, is a Japanese macaque at Ichikawa City Zoo in Japan, who was born last July. He was abandoned and shunned by his mother and was given the now-famous stuffed orange orangutan from IKEA.
As someone who still brings my baby blanket everywhere, I understand.
While I know I preached a few weeks ago that parasocial relationships are weird and inappropriate, there are always exceptions. So, not to sound hypocritical, but I do have a personal beef with Punch’s biological mother, and if I ever see her, I’m not below fighting a monkey. Let’s find out why I’m more evolved, bitch.
The videos of Punch being attacked, dragged and abused had me emotionally distraught for weeks. He ran to his stuffed animal for comfort after being beaten by the other monkeys. Are you kidding me? I’m done for.
I don’t know who taught TikTok editors and media teams to be sadists or something, but why are some of y’all killing me even more with putting the most depressing songs behind these videos. If you’re the sicko that put Sienna Spiro’s “The Visitor” behind a video of Punch being shoved, with the caption “The plushie gave (him) the hug that her mother didn’t,” you’re going to see me behind you at some point, and I suggest you run faster.
Though to Daily Mail Australia, I may hate you, but you did well with putting a video of Punch being accepted to Bruno Mars’s “Count on Me.” You’re safe, for now.
Now, after weeks of being in the spotlight, Punch has been somewhat accepted by a few others in his habitat. All I have to say is, the opps really switch up when you get famous. Bet they just want a taste of Punch’s clout. Fake.
Many have compared Punch to Moo Deng. Well, Moo Deng is canceled and has clearly been replaced. While Moo Deng was admittedly adorable, Punch’s story is just better, and he’s been through so much. He deserves his fame more than that obese shiny rat.
Then, because my social media is conjured from the bottom of hell, I keep coming across Harambe and Punch edits. I came across someone saying that “Punch is the rebirth that will heal the consequences of Harambe.” You know what? Yeah, I believe it.
Harambe was a Western lowland silverback gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo, who was shot and killed in 2016 after a three-year-old boy climbed into his enclosure. Remember, parents, watch your kids, or else a gorilla will be killed, and it will trigger a spiraling of unfortunate events.
Punch even now has a favorite human, a zookeeper. It brings me so much joy watching him make friends. He even helped with feeding time, and while he stood above everyone else, I hope he felt powerful and that they were all nothing compared to him.
I know I’m not a zoologist or anything, but I can’t seem to understand why the zoo keeps Punch in an environment where he’s being abused. In a lot of other cases, they would remove him and separate him from the others for his safety. Again, I don’t know what
exactly the protocol would be for it, but I just hope the zoo isn’t keeping him in a dangerous place in order to rake in ticket sales or online popularity.
Punch is what we needed going into 2026 and I can’t wait to watch him single-handedly save the world.
