“Take a minute, take it in.”
It sounds like something a parent would say to their child after something life-altering happened. Moving to a new house, a horrible diagnosis or a death in the family. In this case, the quote came from an influencer who announced her divorce to the internet.
Mikayla Nogueira is a social media influencer most recognized for her wildly exaggerated Boston accent and makeup reviews. She has a reputation for being controversial, especially when it comes to bringing private matters to the internet. The most recent instance is the video where she aired out her divorce, which she thought we all needed to pause and reflect because of.
In this day and age, we’ve seen it all on social media. Pregnancy announcements, engagements, weddings and now, divorce. The issue is not the announcement itself, but how it’s presented. I can’t blame her for thinking she’s important enough to warrant an emotional reaction from viewers — plenty of other influencers do it too. They plan and prepare their content, and Mikayla’s video follows suit.
It’s the calm and controlled dialogue, the fact that you can tell she sat down, wrote a script and did a full beat.
There was no rawness to the video. Everything about it felt completely superficial and out of touch. She mentions that she and her husband, Cody Hawkin, decided to separate last year, but posted this video two days before Valentine’s Day.
What’s even more irritating to viewers is the next video she posted was a “get ready with me for Valentine’s Day,” where she seemed completely unfazed by what she had just posted two days prior. Same lighting, same exaggerated cadence, but this time, she needed to “look so fucking hot” because she “deserves it.”
That’s the disconnect with Mikayla. She tells viewers to “take a minute” to digest her divorce — a deeply personal crisis — then pivots to her usual business of performative behavior. It’s hard to take the emotional gravity of influencers seriously when it exists in one video, then it’s gone the next.
When you sit down to film a video victimizing yourself, at golden hour, mind you, you pretty much lose all credibility you once had.
On Feb. 23, Mikayla posted a video attempting to clap back at the negative attention she’s been getting. In the TikTok, she says, “People say I’m not mourning my divorce…Me everyday when the camera’s not rolling.” However, the camera’s were rolling — there are nine separate clips of her crying in the video.
This is not to say that Mikayla isn’t allowed to grieve, or that her divorce isn’t painful. I’m sure it is — she is losing the love of her life. But when your brand is built on spectacle, you can’t suddenly demand authenticity from an audience that has only known you to be
controversial and ignorant.
Her followers are used to the dramatics, the perfect lighting, the heightened accent and over the top expressions, which are all curated for entertainment. When those same followers are asked to witness a raw, emotional moment, it comes across strictly as a performance.
Influencers who use the internet as a platform to speak out about personal pain have to remember that an audience isn’t obligated to care. If most of the internet is making fun of your divorce, it’s not that they’re failing to be empathetic, it’s your failure to deliver an important message.
Online audiences don’t feel moved when everything is staged, and they are surely not compelled to validate your emotions.
