SATIRE: Quinnipiac opens meal plan credit card

Neha Seenarine, Associate Arts & Life Editor

Illustration by (Connor Lawless)

This article is for comedic purposes only. Actual names and likenesses used in this article are used in a parodic context, and are not a reflection of any actual person.

Quinnipiac University introduced a new way to “tap it” on Feb. 18.

Students will be able to apply for meal plan credit cards for the fall 2022 semester. The card will be called “Ambition Reloaded.” The Ambition Reloaded cards will allow students to build a credit score for the duration of their undergraduate years. The university proposes the cards are more beneficial and teach students how to handle real-world situations.

“There is no better way to learn about adult finances,” Quinnipiac’s Dining Financial Advisor Jeff Fellowes said.

“People like to eat, so it’s not a loss to anyone.”
Cards will require students’ social security numbers, annual income and cumulative GPA. Their applications may be denied if they have outstanding balances on their student accounts.

“I never had a credit card,” senior accounting major Mason Kyocera said. “I imagine that this is like a cruise ship, I just tap my card and everything is free.”

Students will have a credit limit of $50. A bill will populate in the student’s email in the following 72 hours, forcing thespender to pay off their dining plan debt within three hours of receiving their email. If they fail to pay, missed paymentswill be reported to the credit bureau. Their dining plans will be deactivated until the payment is made.

“They definitely don’t want any undergrads to have an 850 credit score,” first-year history major Daisy Velez said.

Ambition Reloaded cards will be available in Boomer blue, Quad grass green or a custom picture of the student doing the “Bobcat roar” from orientation.