So you’ve been really hurt, huh? Had your heart broken into a million pieces, were humiliated, rejected and promised yourself you’ll never go through this hellish ordeal again? Well, while wallowing in your own self pity sounds like a barrel of fun,, eventually you have to ask yourself who’s more important: yourself or your ex? If you chose the option of living your life, seeing what’s out there and not letting a past heartbreaker win power over you, then you’re on the right track.

While it’s completely normal, and expected, to push others away and close yourself off after being badly burned, doing so only provides an incredibly narrow view of the tunnel of love. While it’s hard to realize your cheating, lying, incompetent ex’s issues are specific to him or her, it’s vital not to put the next contestant under the microscope due to an old flame’s flaws.

When entering a fresh relationship, how do you know how much baggage to bring on board and what you should check at the gate?

For starters, bring forth the idea of a healthy companionship and leave the bad vibes behind. There are so many genuine people in this world who are ready and willing to make your life better by being in it. And the truth is, they’ve probably been hurt, too. But, if we all gave up on walking after our first fall, there would be adults crawling all over the streets.

Picking up the pieces and making yourself whole again is the first step to realizing why you’re such a great boyfriend/girlfriend in the first place. Just because someone didn’t appreciate your outstanding qualities, it doesn’t mean no one will. Rebuilding your self-confidence and showing others what you’ve got will help you feel more comfortable with new scenarios.

Next, get out there! Sure, you may feel a few little pricks along the path, but you’re certainly strong enough to handle what comes your way. Besides, from here the only way is up. And while it’s perfectly acceptable to keep cautious and not rush into things, be sure you still give people a chance.

Eventually, when you meet someone who has potential, get to know him or her. See what you have in common, gage their personality, and discover what makes them unique.

Allow yourself and others to be real because that’s the only way you’ll truly see who’s out there. Before you know it, you’ll meet someone who will fizzle your fears and make your ex look like a blip on the screen.