There are so many different kinds of people out there, that we so often find ourselves wishing we could combine parts of each type of person to make a whole. Maybe you love your most recent hook-up’s smile and personality, while the sense of humor and sheer compassion in someone else seems to hit the right note.

What do we do when we can’t have the peanut butter and jelly together and have to choose just one? Is it possible to be in the mood for salty one day, and sweet the other?

It’s like taking a trip to purchase a new pair of sneakers, and loving the comfort of one and the look of the other. Since you clearly can’t combine the two you must decide if you should settle on one choice, or shop around until you find the perfect model to fit all your desires. If you choose one, are you really settling, or have you found something that you will truly be happy with?

Mostly, when searching for the right partner it’s best not to focus on just one or two pieces, but to view the puzzle as a whole. Granted, everyone has their good and better traits, and because we have so many different facets to our personalities, it’s natural to enjoy the company of more than one individual. After all, the whole point of dating is to get to know what’s out there and eventually weigh the options.

But it shouldn’t be about settling. “You’ll do” may be an acceptable attitude for a temporary fix, but when dealing with long term commitment you may just have to trust your instincts on who you mesh with best.

The most important thing is to figure out what you are truly looking for. Spend some time alone deciphering what qualities you want in a companion. Then, see who, if anyone, best fits those characteristics.

It is perfectly acceptable to spend time with both or all three or four candidates if you go about it respectfully. Movies with one and ice cream with another is fine. Sex with one Friday and the other Saturday, not so much.