As May Weekend rapidly approaches, some people at this school are getting excited at the idea that 50 Cent, Lloyd Banks, or even both will be coming to grace our ears with their sophisticated, intelligent music. The school has not yet confirmed which one will actually be performing here, but regardless of which one it is, one question has to be asked: Why would anyone want to see these guys?

I am one of the last people to get into the whole gangster rap scene. These guys get paid millions of dollars to go out and rap about their lives, which essentially boils down to them rapping about being scumbags. Why should we support these so-called musicians by allowing them to come to school? Did the Student Planning Board ever take a look at our campus? 50 Cent is going to come onstage and look out into the sea of Caucasians with popped collars and Birkenstocks and wonder what exactly he signed up for.

But seriously, whether it is 50 Cent or Lloyd Banks or if some amazing miracle happens and all of G-Unit, these guys do not deserve our money or our time. Their songs sound the same [see “Magic Stick” and “Candy Shop” as perfect examples of the same beat] and Mother Goose can rhyme better than them. Take new hit “Disco Inferno” for example. The song, which really is just a string of words put together to make an incoherent sentence hoping that no one would realize, glorifies non-stop partying, spending money and not leaving the party until he’s done “hollering at these shorties.”

Is there something that I have missed? Has the youth of America really found entertainment in these guys? Do people not care about having instruments in their music anymore and not a machine that makes beats? 50 Cent is so gangster and hard-core that without 13-year-olds buying his albums, he would not be popular at all. All of these so called musicians are walking contradictions. They brag about how they represent Brooklyn or Queens or wherever they came from, and then buy million dollar mansions in the suburbs.

Now I am not all against rap music. If the songs have a meaning and are trying to say something meaningful, or if they even play some instruments like The Roots, thenthey are the exception to the poison that is being sold as rap music currently. No one talks about The Dakah Hip Hop Orchestra, which is a 64-piece full orchestra that does raps for up to an hour with musical jams interspersed and people will continue not to know them as long as the likes of 50 Cent and Lloyd Banks keep gracing us with their “ill tracks.”

Maybe I’m once again the guy who just does not get what is popular in today’s society. Maybe I just am not ghetto enough to understand what 50 Cent is trying to say. Maybe “Candy Shop” is the “Stairway To Heaven” of our generation, and I am just going to be the old fart who doesn’t quite get it. Or maybe I am right, and one day people will realize that 50 Cent makes George W. Bush look like Ken Jennings.

On May Weekend I will probably be out with the rest of the masses seeing whomever it is that comes to Quinnipiac, partially because I never pass up a free concert, and partially because I will have a good laugh at watching all the kids in popped-collars and Birkenstocks act like they are “In Da Club.”