Wreck: “Chinese Food” music video

Sara Kozlowski

Remember the song that goes “Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday?” Because unfortunately, I do.

A new music video titled “Chinese Food” recently came out on YouTube. The video, as of Monday night, has 10,258,044 views. 30,898 people gave it a thumbs up and 122,510 people gave it a thumbs down. The so-called singer is Alison Gold, who seems to be around 13-years-old or younger, considering she still has teeth coming in. Essentially, this is a video of Gold singing about how much she likes Chinese food.

The music video starts with a man speaking in Chinese to a beat. Then Gold is singing in a park and kicks over a garbage can because she was just “clubbin’” (because 13-year-olds go clubbing) and she was “huggin’’” and “getting grumpy” because she was getting hungry.

The video consists of her going into a Chinese restaurant and singing about how much she loves noodles, broccoli and chow mein — but not the regular chow mein — “chow muh-muh-muh-muh mein.”

The video is very uncomfortable and a bit awkward especially when a man emerges in a panda costume. Gold is prancing through a park hand-in-hand with a giant panda. Then they are at a slumber party together and the panda takes his costume off and it’s a rapper singing about broccoli while playing monopoly. A man at a slumber party with a bunch of tweens! It’s just so wrong.

The video has girls dressed up as Japanese geishas, so that was a bit confusing because the video was supposed to be about Chinese food. The video also stereotyped Chinese people when they had the panda, fortune cookies and when they have the giant panda rapper put the Monopoly piece on oriental avenue.

Then the panda throws a giant fortune cookie at her and he shoots up in the sky like a rocket through the roof of a house they were randomly standing in and of course she opens the cookie and inside it says, “The panda will fly away on a rainbow.” What does that even mean?

The panda even at one point swirls his finger in sweet and sour sauce and licks it but manages to put it all over his lips. Literally one of the most disturbing videos on YouTube.