The Quinnipiac Printer Manifesto

Dan Parks

Welcome to the Arnold Bernhard Library, where we have a number of computers which students can use freely and use the University Printers. Of course, it sounds like a great idea to save your own ink for printing out funny pictures of your roommates. I love this idea as my roommates always do stupid things that we need to take pictures of. However, some people make this a painful process, this week I am hereby saluting the members of the student body who print excessively in the middle of the day.

My personal favorites are the computer illiterates and the impatients. This phenomenal group is defined as people who print out multiple copies of the same document and leave them there because they are not sure which printer they were printing to. This causes a hold up in everyone else printing there 5-page papers that are due in half-an-hour and all we need to do is pick them up.

The second group is the midday printer hogs. These are the people who print out the slides from blackboard between noon and 3 PM – the time most of us need to print out our 1-page brief for a legal studies class. The midday hogs are occasionally grouped with the illiterate/impatients, but detailed studies reveal they are actually two separate groups of inconsiderate students. The midday dwellers can often be a friendly, beneficial group because they also print out the slides for their fellow classmates or they print out extras in case they lose the first copy.

Yet here is the solution. Everyone can print excessively all they want, just do your work at night. Be considerate of the people who need these printers midday.

Also, for the computer illiterates, please figure out how to use a personal computer and select the printing option. It’s really not difficult.

If we can all be a little more understanding, then Quinnipiac will be a much better place.