She said; He said

Dear Shelly and Ricky-
I have a problem. I have been out of the dating game so long I have no idea how to tell this girl I like her or if she likes me as more than a friend.
Can you give me some sure-fire signs when a girl likes a guy? Can you also give me ways I can let her know I like her without scaring her off?
Thanks for the help Shelly and Ricky, maybe now I will get the girl of my dreams!!
— Looking for Love

Dear L for L,
What are you getting all anxious for? Making a lady fall for you is like any other game in life. Once you know the rules, you’ll be scoring big time!
So the two of you are friends but you do not know how much she cares. To what extent is your friendship now? Do the two of you hang out, call each other’s cells, or carry on hours of IM chatter? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might have one foot into her room or her heart.
So I know you are no longer in high school, but it seems you need some reassurance. If the two of you have any mutual friends, maybe the in-between pal can drop a few of your good qualities in their conversation. If your friend supports your crush, there is no problem having others disclose your assets.
What else can you do to get her to notice you? Ladies always enjoy a gentleman who brushes his hair and puts on clean clothes. We enjoy a man with a good sense of humor, a nice smile, and one that wears musky cologne. A gentlemen who knows how to compliment a lady is appreciated. A man who spits out his top ten pick up lines is overbearing. “Did it hurt? When you fell from the sky?” I could do without!
The best advice I could give to you, Looking, is to get to know her first, then grow a set, and tell her that you think she is fine. If she is interested, I’m sure you will know, because she will be eager to spend time with you. But she may not be interested; either way, she will respect your effort. Presenting yourself in the best light is your best chance! You have lost nothing by trying, but you lose the whole game when you are watching from the sidelines.

Dear L for L-
First things first. YOU CANT LOOK FOR LOVE!.
Not only does it frustrate the looker, but every person you are looking for love in can tell what you are doing, and that is likely to scare them off.
Love just sort of happens and you dont ever know where it comes from.
In terms of sure fire signs that shes into you….I think if she gets you alone in a room and tries to rip off your clothes, you have at least got a shot.
Honestly though, if a girl actually does not run away or give you some lame excuse to stop talking to you, she is at least leaving the door open, and you should take that as a good sign.
For gods sake though, at some point make a move, or else the dreaded “friend-zone” starts to creep in, and she will actually want to not date you so she does not mess up the friendship. Its a long haul back to Relationshipville from that point, believe me.
Do something with her that is blatantly a “date”, with no wiggle room for interpretation. (movie in the dormroom is a terrible idea). You will be able to tell by her reactions on this date where you you stand.
Good luck getting the girl of your dreams…..I just hope she is not the one from THAT dream, if you know what I’m saying because that girl is not dating material.
—- Ricky