WRECK: Lindsay Lohan’s hit and run

Sara Kozlowski

Lindsay Lohan is a hot mess. It’s sad, but she really is the epitome of this term. Her biggest film, “Mean Girls,” remains cherished by many, but she has long since abandoned that peak in her life. She’s gone downhill so fast, and now she can’t handle even the most reasonable responsibilities—like driving a vehicle without running someone over.

The New York Daily News reported that there is security footage of Lohan ditching a man after hitting him with her Porsche. The victim, Jose Rodriguez, claimed she was under the influence at the time. However, local police officers found “no indication that she was intoxicated,” which only makes her look that much worse. The incident is hardly surprising to anyone who knows about her previous trouble with the law, including multiple DUIs, cocaine possession and theft. If someone gave her some turkey and bread and asked her to make a sandwich, the results would probably be disastrous. She’d probably be found passed out on the floor with an empty bottle of Bacardi beside her, with the bread shoved in her pants and turkey on the window. She’s 26 years old and still stuck in that “Trap” she was in when she was 11.