I love romance and the idea of love, but it’s hard to be a romantic today when most of my potential interests are hidden behind screens and bad texting.

I hate the way texting has transformed romance. I obviously have gripes about significant others liking half-naked photos on Instagram or finding new ways to cheat. But it’s not just problematic actions that are the issue. I would go a step deeper — it starts with linguistics.

Please, just spell out words. If I was texting my boss, I’m changing the way I text. If you’re trying to attract somebody, do the same. There is no reason I should be receiving “nun” instead of “nothing,” “sum” instead of “something,” and so on.

If I get one more unsolicited “wyll” message, I might just lose it. Is that how you’re going to set up the conversation? It translates to “Let me see if you’re hot enough for me to continue sending vague messages and innuendos or if I’m going to block you.” Do you know what’s a better sentence starter? “Hello.”

It’s also become, in a way, more acceptable for harassment. Sometimes, it’s generous if I receive the dreaded “wyll” text. Other times, I’m opening a Snapchat message to someone jerking themselves off. If someone dropped their pants in public, that’s public indecency. If it’s a message, it’s shrugged off and laughed at. Well, very unfortunately, it hasn’t erased it from my mind. Yet, it’s become normalized, and it’s passed off as just a part of being on messaging platforms.

One of the biggest turn-offs? Bad grammar. I’m willing to hold out for someone who knows the difference between “their,” “there” and “they’re.” “You’re beautiful” is ruined if it’s written as “your beautiful.” The first phrase will give me butterflies, the latter makes me want to scream into a pillow. It’s an immediate mood killer.

You may be thinking, “Turn off your phone and go out.” If only it were that simple. The damage is done. The superficial social media world has changed the physical one.

Even if you meet someone in person, if they’re into you, it’s more likely that they will ask for your Snapchat username than your number. With Snapchat, you can easily communicate via photos instead of having an actual conversation. But “Can I get your Snapchat?” is the default request now. I would rather be asked for my number; it just seems more genuine.

Let’s say everything is going well, and you’re letting yourself settle in and become vulnerable in a relationship. The last thing you want when you’re vulnerable is to feel like the other person hates you. Sometimes, others’ texts can come across that way even when they don’t mean it. Often, we’re left trying to decipher an “Ok.” instead of “okay.”

We overestimate our ability to interpret texts as if we’re professional archeologists interpreting hieroglyphics. It’s not that deep. I don’t want to be half-asleep worrying about how many “y”s I put on the end of “hey” to get my point across. I just want to say “hi.” If that sounds dry and you take that as me not wanting to talk to you, please understand I wouldn’t be reaching out in the first place.

I get it. I’m not saying I don’t overanalyze texts because I definitely do. But our lives (especially our romantic lives) have evolved in a way that does more harm than good. We’re stressing ourselves out over extra letters, we’re lowering standards and we’re not even communicating. I’m so over it.

Call me picky or high-maintenance, but I’d rather have connection than confusion. A good love story deserves more than half-assed and half-hearted messages.