Size, does it matter?

Neha Seenarine, Associate Arts & Life Editor

Illustration by (Amanda Riha)

The least of my concerns is what a man is packing underneath his pants. If you think I’m going to whip out a measuring tape, you got it all wrong.

Penis. It’s a tough word to bring up in a conversation. I’m sure it’s in the forbidden topics along with sharing your social security number and airing out your medical records.

Not many people want to talk about the little guy, at least in broad daylight.

I understand why most people feel uncomfortable talking about male genitalia. It’s not the most attractive body part and it’s never the best conversation starter. However, when “penis” does enter the chat, it’s usually about one thing — size.

People are oddly curious about penis size. It seems to promote a macho attitude and a high success rate in the bedroom. Individuals might find interest in having an ideal size when searching for a partner. Meanwhile, men may worry if their body is not good enough and if they were cursed with bad genetics.

Does size matter? No, not really.

The average erect penis size is around 5 inches in the U.S., according to a study by psychologist Bruce M. King. The results from men were self- reported, “researchers are rarely able to verify self-reported information with factual data, but there is evidence that social desirability influence some men’s self-reports of penis size.” In this case, the average size could be a bit smaller.

We often associate bigger with better and that’s not true at all. For example, when I order a burger at a restaurant, I’m disappointed when I can’t lift it with my two hands. It’s too tall and I’m furious when the toppings start to fall out.

It doesn’t surprise me that men would lie about their penis sizes. I’ve noticed men tend to bump up their height, whether it’s on a dating app or their driver’s licenses. There is a stigma that men have to be large and masculine, but people sometimes forget that men have feelings too. It’s not always easy to keep up a certain physique and worrying about their private parts is just another stressor.

The correlation between size and achieving sexual excellence is beyond me. Just because you have a wand doesn’t mean you have the magic touch. People have different versions of what intimacy means to them, so relying on size doesn’t call for a good time.

X-ray vision is a made-up skill, and no one is hypothesizing how large some guy might be. Sometimes we forget that the sexiest character trait is personality. Beyond physical appearance, we’re attracted to the way a person acts. Someone can have the prettiest face in the room, but the most disgusting personality. I can guarantee you wouldn’t want to wake up next to them.

In reality, who’s asking? I could not remember a time when asking about size was an icebreaker question. Honestly, if someone told me they had a monster truck underneath their boxers, I’d be embarrassed for them.

I’ve picked up on people who tend to brag about the things they don’t have. I remember seeing an Instagram post about a woman that had a Louis Vuitton bag without cash in it. People will tell you what they think you want to hear. They want to shape themselves in the way they want to be perceived. If a man is talking about their big size within your first few conversations with them, it’s a bluff.