Going ghost

Ghosting is the first sign someone is not into you

Neha Seenarine, Associate Arts & Life Editor

Illustration by (Peyton McKenzie)

If you have never been ghosted before, congratulations. However, there are many people patiently waiting by their phones for a buzz that will never come from someone special.

The most subtle form of rejection is to ghost someone, announcing your lack of feelings for someone without saying a word. There are people who find confrontation anxiety-inducing. It is difficult to look someone in the face and tell them you’re not interested, but I know I would rather have a person tell me they don’t like me instead of viewing my Instagram story like nothing ever happened.

Ghosting may be a silent execution, but it leaves a lasting impact of confusion. An unanswered message might take time to settle in before you realize that person is just not that into you. The person left with unanswered texts wonders where they went wrong or contemplates sending another message.

We are quick to assume that if someone does not reply in a reasonable amount of time, they’re ignoring us. In some cases, they could have a busy schedule or not have an excessive amount of screentime. Then again, when we are invested in another person, we make excuses for why we haven’t heard back when the other person is actually not that into us.

Sometimes words are better left unsaid. The person you’re ghosting may give you the “ick” factor, and it would be rude to confront them and list out all the things you can’t stand. Also, you just might not find them attractive.

People have very different personalities, and their vibes can be miscommunicated. I’m sure I have stopped talking to someone because I didn’t like the way they sent Snapchats. The minor details have a larger impact, and we can’t control how people see us through their phones.

It is also better to ghost someone rather than lead them on. If you don’t have the same feelings toward someone, don’t bother them. It is nice to get attention from someone who conveys interest in you, but it’s actually damaging to the other person. It gives them false hope that there might be a romantic future when in reality, you’re using them for compliments.

When someone ghosts you, it is best to move forward. Chasing another person can be perceived as embarrassing. I know there were times when I would tell my friends about someone constantly reaching out to me. I don’t owe them an explanation of why I’m not interested. The hard truth is no one owes you anything even if you put in the time and effort. You can’t wait around your phone all day for closure because it may never come.

Ghosting can happen outside of potential romantic relationships. There have been times where I stopped answering others because I got uncomfortable. I had a co-worker that constantly asked me to buy them coffee before I started my shift. Money was not an issue, and I didn’t mind the first few times. However, it came to the point where it became excessive, so I came up with an excuse saying I wouldn’t have the time for a coffee run. It was a nice way of saying “no.” I didn’t have the courage to reject someone I worked with professionally every day. After that, I was asked a handful of times and I just stopped answering. My silence was loud, and I was never asked again. People can be persistent, and it is not fair for someone to stress you out on your own phone.

There are many ways people can handle online situations. However, it might lead to unexpected consequences and conversations you want to avoid. Ghosting is an effective way to leave a situation without saying a word.