I stare at a blank screen of ADD. I am, like many of you, a procrastinator, which isn’t a bad thing. I think this is when I get my best work done at the last minute. When I said I would be writing this week no one thought I was serious. I am not a writer. I am, by all accounts, a loudmouth salesman who cannot stay focused on a single topic for more then a few minutes, so I figure why not write this way and introduce an Oprah inspired idea, Brendan’s list of fabulous things and the not-so-fabulous. So, in grocery style non factual order, here they go.

– I think it is obnoxious that every girl owns a pair of Uggs and some feel that they need to be worn with a short fluffy skirt in January. If it’s cold enough for boots, it’s too cold for a short skirt. Just an idea.

-I find it ridiculous that Quinnipiac enrolls so many students and they can barely keep the ones they have on campus and out of trouble. This is like a girl going out and having children she cannot feed or take care of and now she expects her mother to do the work.

-Parking at Quinnipiac, lets build a garage already. If I wanted exercise I would go to the gym, not climb one mile to Hogan.

-People protesting things that do not effect them. Is your phone getting tapped? No? Then don’t worry about it. If you are worried, what are you hiding?

-Gas prices!

-Books. I’m never going to use them so why am I procuring them?

-Students who complain about things but don’t help their situations.

-People who come to sign up for organizations just so they can go get a candy bar from an RA, yet they will never show up to a meeting or help in any way.

-Do you really need your phone on in class? Silent? Vibrate? Off? Just an idea kids.

-People who are applying for serious grown up jobs and feel the need to put down on a resume they worked at TGI Fridays for a week in high school. Yes, a diverse resume is great, but I don’t think GE will care that you can make an Oreo Madness.

-People who take things so seriously. Smile it’s only life.

-The popped collar.

-Stereotypes. We all are something, but we don’t need to exemplify every stereotype.

-People who write lists instead of an actual article.

The fabulous things:

-Meredith Somers

-Ray and Mike’s (yes I am a fatty)

-The people at the computer help desk for not judging me based on my hard-drive.

-The nice people who never reveal my actual hair color.

-Eddie Kovacs, Danny Brown, Maria Moniello and Scottie Hazan.

-The nice security guards who realize Quinnipiac is not a military installation or a prison. Freedom is a beautiful thing.

-Ronco – it makes me happy when I can set it and forget it.

-The QU athletes who donate time to help read or perform service projects in the community. (Every club and organization can take a page out of this book.)

-The nice people in financial aide, who will somehow read this, interpret it as art and find a fun grant for me? Please?

-Greek life. I know I am normally a critic of them, but they do a lot of good for the community.

-People who look at shameless sucking up in a favorable light.

-The people who will read this and write back because I enraged them in someway.

-The people who have at least smiled once during this page-long rant.

Wow, that was productive, we should do this again sometime. Let me know when you are free.

Kids, if I offended you, good! Write back to the Chronicle and tell us why something on my not-so-fabulous list upset you.

Like what I write? Keep it to yourself, brown nosing gets you nowhere with me.