Where are the signs and how are we supposed to read them?
Here’s the situation. You are at a party. You look great. You suddenly find yourself in a flirtatious conversation with someone who sparks your interest. You are using eye contact, totally hitting it off and using all your best lines when suddenly. Boom! They drop the bomb. “So, my (insert significant other here)….”
It is as if they were waiting to reel you in just so they could toss you back in the water with the rest of the fish in the sea. You smile politely and hold back from screaming at them, “Why are you wasting my time?!”
Now, the past twenty minutes of smiling, hair flipping, gut-sucking and “I’m into you” vibes were wasted on someone who was already taken.
Why are coupled people even at bars and parties? Shouldn’t they be kept inside watching movies and cuddling? Or, at least traveling wrapped together in caution tape as if to warn the public to steer clear.
Where are the signs and how are we supposed to read them?
As college students, we are not quite in the realm of marriage where one can easily detect a committed soul by a ring. So, in order to read the signals on the road to meeting someone, one must apply the basic traffic rules; Proceed with caution and know when to step on the break.
Don’t be fooled by the ‘nice guy’ who buys your drinks or the girl who brushes up against you on the dance floor. To the coupled, these acts seem innocent. After all, everyone wants to be desired. These years are prime time to live up the social scene, and we’re always to looking to make a good impression. This is often part of a self reassurance process so a coupled knows they’ve still got game and more than one person is interested in them.
However, if you pay close attention, you will notice a coupled will be more likely to make eye contact and less likely to make physical contact. Always be aware of who is leading the way. The single person is more likely to take the initiative to hit on someone new and hint contact beyond the bar stool.
Be sure not to assume the other person’s intentions. If someone ready, willing and interested, they will let you know. If you took more initiative to get the ball rolling and are feeling too aggressive for the situation, chances are, the other person is holding back for a reason.
Alcohol uninhibits us; so many singles rely on it to bring them out of their shell to meet new people. Those who feel sure and comfortable in social situations tend to have the inner confidence from knowing they are in a loving relationship. Therefore, if a person is sober and confident, they are definitely taken.
Of course, there is the more obvious type who will tell you in their introduction they are unavailable, even if their significant other is not with them.
You: “Hi, is this seat taken?”
Them: “No, but I am.”
You: “Fabulous. Thanks for the heads up. Sorry for jumping all over you.”
Look for “Ask Ricky and Sara” next week!
