Today is March 7. Spring break is two days away. Sit back and ponder where the last two months went. I presume your steadfast concentration on that last piece of cheesy bread has prevented you from noticing the lapse in time. It’s now time to re-evaluate your life choices.

And I’m not one to talk. I’m just as guilty as you. Sadly, shame and self-degradation has taken over us with barely any time left to spare. Many of us have broken our spring break promises.

First, we vowed to go to the gym every day. Instead, we counted the walk to CAS as sufficient exercise for the day. (It’s an eight-minute walk from Hogan Road. I kept track.)

Then we were introduced to the P90X DVDs as a new way to work out. We promptly quit after the yoga session kicked our asses. But we swore to ourselves we were going to start again next week. (How did that go?)

We upped our tanning membership to get a bronzed base before our trip. Now, we are out $100 and looking more orange than Snooki.

Pizza was our biggest enemy until it became our best friend after late nights out. Desserts and sweets were forbidden. Then Valentine’s Day happened. Eating our feelings was the only way to fill the emptiness in our hearts.

We may or may not have taken to binge eating in the middle of the night. We never intended for the fire alarm to go off. The chicken nuggets just could not wait to be eaten.

We planned to set spending money aside. It was necessary to work overtime to help finance the trip. However, our need to go into New Haven every Saturday night canceled out our extra cash flow.

And Toad’s called. They found your wallet. Unfortunately, they are still searching for your dignity, which was last seen pinned against the railing on the stage.

In the end, spring break is an important week to rest and relax whether you are going to an exotic location with friends or spending time at home with family.

It doesn’t matter if you have a pouch, washboard abs or a beer belly. Be happy with yourself. No one is perfect. You are beautiful. Feel secure in the body you were born with. And hey, there’s a good chance you won’t remember most of the trip anyway, so it doesn’t really matter what you look like.

Safe travels, everyone!