WRECK of the week: Snooki’s bun in the oven

Sara Kozlowski

If “Jersey Shore” star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi thought having a UTI got in the way of her hedonist, alcoholic lifestyle, wait until she realizes one cannot consume alcohol while pregnant. Snooki recently confirmed for the press that she is in fact with child, causing a massive uproar everywhere. Rumors of the reality star’s hesitancy to officially announce her pregnancy have been swirling around, accusing her of waiting to see who would pay her the most for the cover story. Although unconfirmed, this suggestion is certainly not out of the realm of possibility. After all, how certain are we that the child even belongs to boyfriend Jionni LaValle? Random hookups with Vinny, random clubgoers and “gorilla juice heads” make the possibilities of the fathers identity endless.

Although Snooki claims to be ready to “settle down” and have children, many remain skeptical. It is hard to imagine Snooki sober for more than 12 hours — how could anyone expect her to be sober for nine months? Despite this, she seems to have everything all figured out and already plans to have her own reality TV show revolving around her pregnancy. The only thing left to say is good luck — not to her, but to the baby.