DEAR LOVELY RITA: There’s this really hot Spanish girl who I’ve been hanging out with. But I don’t know any Spanish. Should I learn Spanish to get a hook up with her? – Muy Caliente

DEAR MUY CALIENTE: If the connection is real, language shouldn’t be a barrier. If it is, here are the basics: more is ‘más,’ please is ‘por favor,’ yes is ‘si,’ and harder is ‘mas duro.’ You should be able to handle it from there. – Lovely Rita

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DEAR LOVELY RITA: What does sex without a condom feel like for a guy? – Mystified Female

DEAR MYSTIFIED FEMALE: I’m afraid I fall into the same category as you, a mystified female. Guys have told me it feels better for them. I would imagine it feels like sex. Only the guy might feel anxious about planting his seed because it could actually result in you know, a baby. Or a sexually transmitted infection. Or both. – Lovely Rita

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DEAR LOVELY RITA: I have kind of like a giant crush on my professor, and I think he’s single, or at least he doesn’t wear a wedding ring. He’s invited me out for coffee just the two of us before and I call him by his first name. Should I test the waters or forget about him? – Swooning

DEAR SWOONING: There are a few issues to look at here. First, evaluate the interactions you’ve had with your prof very carefully: Is he coming on to you or simply being friendly to a favorite student? If you truly think he’s putting on the moves, before you go any farther just remember – student/teacher relationships are always complex. Not sometimes. Always. There is an inherent power imbalance that is in place simply because your prof is in a position of power over you in terms of age and authority.

There are also a lot of variables in play besides the age gap – the prof’s marital status, your own maturity level, university policy (if there is one), and so many more. In my opinion, I wouldn’t bother. There are so many other fish in the sea that making it work in such a complicated situation just isn’t worth it, no matter how studly this prof may be. – Lovely Rita

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DEAR LOVELY RITA: Why do people say that girls are supposed to pee before and after sex? Does it boost your sex drive? – Feeling the Urge

DEAR FEELING THE URGE: Unfortunately there is no evidence that having a full bladder while bumping uglies will improve your libido. In fact, bumping and grinding is rather uncomfortable for women if you have the urge to pee, because it’s actually possible for women to urinate and orgasm at the same time. Some women will resist the big “O” because they feel like they have to pee.

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Disclaimer: The Sex on Fire advice column is kept anonymous to avoid violating the privacy of the author.