Earlier in the school year I met a girl who told me she wouldn’t go to Toad’s (or any other bar for that matter) because her boyfriend wouldn’t approve. That made me sick.
I was never one to be caught up in relationships during my high school career. It was just my luck to have started dating someone during January of my senior year, a time when the idea of going to college was starting to feel real. If there is any advice I heard when it came to preparing for the social aspects of college, it was to get rid of my relationship and make sure my Facebook relationship status read “single.” Like the girl I previously mentioned, I did not follow this advice.
For the length of the summer before freshman year I was constantly reminded that college is hard enough academically, and a long-distance relationship wouldn’t make it any easier. Yet my boyfriend didn’t care and made it clear that he wanted to continue what we started, despite the distance.
The pressure is now 100 percent on me.
This is when the mental and emotional aggravation begins and your mind pulls you in every direction. You don’t want to give up on a relationship and seem selfish, but the thought of angry texts flooding your phone while you are out makes you crave the freedom even more. The plot thickens when both members of the relationship cannot agree on a way to make it work. Exhibit A: my boyfriend and me.
After weeks of consideration, I decided that staying with him would be worth a try. As predicted, my phone blew up whenever I didn’t respond to his texts within twenty minutes and I was accused of being out somewhere when I was really in the library studying. It was also hard for me because I didn’t know if he was telling the truth about where he was either. College, as I am learning, is a time to determine whether the trust is there or not.
Adjusting to college life is a difficult task. If something is telling you that your significant other is going to cause further complications, don’t bring them into your new life.
College is a place to find out who you are. Sometimes it is easier to do this without having to update someone with your whereabouts and who you’re with, or put aside Skype time while you could be with new friends. Breakups are difficult, but trusting someone when they are far away is just as hard.
My boyfriend and I are still together, and we are learning to cope with the long-distance situation. I go where I want and hang out with who I want, and he does the same. If the trust isn’t there, the relationship won’t last. Don’t feel like you have to explain your every move, or have to supply a biography about each person you hang out with.
Being in a relationship in college is a challenge, so don’t stress if it doesn’t work. And if you decide to continue trying, DO NOT end up like the girl who told me she would not go to Toad’s Place because of her boyfriend’s disapproval. These years go by fast – spend them without someone holding you back.