Last week I received some negative response to an article called, “The Worst Generation Ever,” which was a satire about middle-aged people who do not know how to use technology. However, the real point of the article was to illustrate my frustration with the fact that my parents seem to take little interest in what I am doing at school, but rather only care how to get the DVD player to work.
The point is that I understand what it is like to be misunderstood. But, I do not really know what it is like to be a moron. OK, I do, I guess as a born Polack it comes with the territory. But I don’t know what it is like to be a total nimrod, unlike fellow Polack John Petroski.
Why that name is familiar is because he wrote an article titled, “Rape Only Hurts if You Fight it,” for the Central Connecticut State University student newspaper, The Recorder. As one can imagine he received a slightly harder time than I did.
In this article he cited that settlers should have raped Indians when they landed at Plymouth, ugly women should like rape because it is the only way they will have intercourse and he also defended ancient Romans who raped the women of their neighboring country. And, of course, at the end of the article he gave a sad, pathetic attempt at being ironic when he said, “If there is one bread and butter reason for why rape should not only be accepted, but even endorsed, it is because our news editors are in dire need of interesting stories for our front page.”
Where does one even start? First off, as a writer you should rarely, if ever, joke about the big three “R’s”: rape, religion and race. Here’s a great idea, Petroski. You should write a stunning satire about how slavery was a good thing. You know, why stop at rape? Get everyone involved.
Secondly, if this article was really a satire that was only supposed to get people to read the student newspaper, objective accomplished. Mr. Petroski, you got more than a few people reading it. You got the entire region, if not the entire country. And one can be sure that as an aspiring newspaper writer, you probably didn’t make such a hot impression with editors of other newspapers. Not a great idea, considering you probably wanted a job from them.
That leads to the next point. Writing is no longer really an option. John, you should probably become a comedian, because your life is now a joke. Although, based on how well Michael Richards – a beloved television actor – did with his comedic career, it is safe to say, you don’t have a chance. I hope you enjoyed writing this article and writing in general because it looks like you’ll be writing a lot.of apologies.