I honestly don’t understand relationships these days.
There’s “talking,” hooking up, being “Facebook official” and so many other things in between. What happened to two people just being together and leaving it at that?
I could rant forever about how much I dislike the way dating is nowadays, but the thing that really gets me is the way people end their relationships — or whatever you like to call them. I thought being dumped over a text in high school was the most devastating way to be broken up with…until I was ghosted.
Ghosting is “the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date,” according to Urban Dictionary.
So, basically, you have the nerve to start a relationship with someone and declare feelings for him/her, but you don’t have the courage to tell this person when you’re no longer interested? Ghosting, in a nutshell, is cowardice.
According to a survey by Elle, about 27 percent of women have been ghosted, while only around 14 percent of men have been ghosted. But a larger percentage of women admitted to ghosting someone else — about 26 percent compared to 17 percent of men.
Statistics aside, why would anyone do this? I’ve been ghosted by multiple guys before the term was even a thing. Luckily these were guys I had only gone on one or two dates with, but even so, being freezed out after these dates seemingly went well was a pretty terrible feeling.
Ghosting can happen for various reasons, but people who fear conflict and confrontation are most likely to cut off contact without any warning, according to the Huffington Post.
Even though some people may find it easier to end a relationship without confrontation, the Huffington Post says ghosting causes more damage to both the ghost and the ghostee in the long run.
Breakups are never easy and are probably harmful to both parties one way or another. People have certainly gotten creative over the years as different technologies have been created. Heck, Carrie was dumped over a Post-It in “Sex and the City.” From middle school to this past summer, I’ve been dumped over AIM and text messages.
Even if a relationship isn’t ended through a quick text, so many people find a way to torment their exes after all is said and done. My ex-boyfriend tweeted horrible things about me for years after he dumped me.
With all the technology we have at our disposal, some people still don’t have the decency to use one of these mediums to tell someone they just aren’t interested anymore.
Let’s be honest — I’m sure you spent hours, days, weeks or even months deciding whether you wanted to be in or out of a relationship with someone. How is it you can’t take five minutes to call or meet up with someone to tell them that like an adult?
After being dumped over a text and later ghosted this summer, I have zero interest in trying to date anyone at this point. The way that people “date” these days is proof in itself that many people don’t care if they’re in a relationship or if they actually take the time to break up with someone. I don’t think all guys are secretly ghosts, but I definitely don’t have time to figure out which ones are.
So next time you want to end things with a significant other, grow up and tell the person face-to-face — don’t just disappear into thin air.