Red Sox off season complete with signing of Henderson

The Red Sox singed all time great Rickey Henderson on Wednesday to a minor league deal, making Boston his 8th team in his illustrious 24-year career. Baseball’s all-time stolen base, walks, and runs leader is sure to improve a team that has as much speed on the bases as Rosie O’Donnell on roller skates.
Rickey will most likely back up Manny Ramirez and help out the DH spot with the potent pop still left in his two dozen year old bat. Henderson is looking to become the team’s fifth and final outfielder for the 2002-03 season, and the third new member of the outfielder along with Johnny Damon and the well known Michael Coleman.
Although Rickey has proven himself as one of the best to ever play the game, there will still be skeptics who will question his drive and his ability to get along with other players. Sure he is brash, wears sunglasses everywhere he goes and refers to himself as Rickey, but the Sox need some spice in their clubhouse.
Players with drab personalities like Troy O’Leary and Darren Lewis, who are no longer on the team, made the Sox clubhouse as flat as a three month old can of Tab. And so what if he calls himself Rickey. The Rock calls himself The Rock and everyone loves him, except for the people who saw The Mummy Returns.
Although most Red Sox fans will admit Rickey was a wonderful acquisition some of us still have our sights on another perennial all star, Gary DiSarcina. This 34 year-old has severely diminished skills at the plate but is still a demon on the base paths if he accidentally leans into a pitch or is walked, and rumor has it some of the players around the league have started calling him Gary Strike3-Sarcina.
However this type of hounding will not be tolerated in Boston and hitting coach Dewy Evans wont stand for it.
The Sox will look to improve their 82-79 record from last season. They have the Yankees in their sights and the Yanks can’t be too happy about Boston singing Rickey, one of their former players.
At least Boston got sweet redemption for the Yanks getting Roger Clemons, although Rickey is a much better asset to a team than Roger. Rickey is a real athlete who can run and hit.
Roger is nothing but a fat hick who was born with a pretty good arm. When was the last time Roger ever ran for something, except to the oven for some sweltering hot beef?
Overall the Boston Red Sox had a great off-season and is looking good for the upcoming season. Rickey and the Sox have struck fear in the eyes of the American League East. And there is no fear in Rickey’s eyes, or at least we can’t see it because of his sunglasses.