DEAR LOVELY RITA: Hey Rita, what do I do if my RA has a huge crush on me? She constantly wants to give me massages and says I look good. – Fresh Meat
DEAR FRESH MEAT: Well, you’ve withheld a lot of details, but your tone suggests that your resident assistant is giving you unwanted attention and it’s making you squirm. Follow the lead of Dave from Flight of the Concords: “You gotta try honesty, it works the best.” Of course he was talking about a five-way with hot Swedish or Korean chicks, but the concept applies across all boards.
Tell her it makes you feel awkward, and ask her to stop. She might just be overly friendly because she is trying to bond with her residents. Either way, just let her know you’re feeling uncomfortable by having a quick face-to-face conversation the next time you see her. – Lovely Rita
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DEAR LOVELY RITA: I met this guy the other night and gave him my number, but he hasn’t texted or called me. He seemed like he was into me, and I found him on Facebook, should I message him and ask him what’s up? – Single and Looking
DEAR SINGLE AND LOOKING: Messaging him on the addictive drug that is Facebook could go one of two ways. Sending him a casual private message could spark a conversation and have results like coffee dates, holding hands and/or hot makeout sessions. Or, he could be creeped out that you “stalked” him on Facebook and ignore the message, making it awkward if you met again (even more awkward if you daydreamed about those hot makeout sessions.)
Don’t obsess over it – go for it if he seemed truly interested and you think he actually lost your number (I wonder what percentage of time that excuse is actually true?) If not, cross him off your list and move on to your next potential makeout partner. – Lovely Rita
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DEAR LOVELY RITA: My girlfriend always nags me about coming to her club’s events, but it’s not something I have any interest in at all. How do I get her to see that I love her, but not her organization? – Henpecked
DEAR HENPECKED: Your woman is probably proud of her organization and wants to show off to you, as well as show you off to all of her single friends. It’s fine if you don’t share that interest. It’s impossible to have everything in common with your partner, ask any couple.
Just make an effort to support her in other ways, like driving her to run an errand for her org or offering to post fliers for her meeting. Even just remembering that she has something important that day and wishing her good luck will make her go all gooey inside.
Explain that you love her and you’d rather support her in those other ways. She’ll probably understand. If not, just join her club and suck it up, partner. – Lovely Rita
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Disclaimer: The Sex on Fire advice column is kept anonymous to avoid violating the privacy of the author.